It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
