i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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