I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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