she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
