Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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(316): View more from Kansas

I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

(785): View more from Kansas

He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.

Fav 2 669 1275
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(513): View more from Ohio

Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF

Fav 3 1132 742
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(254): View more from Texas

I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks

Fav 2 79 17
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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

i dont know im at your house.

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