Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
