Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
