yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
