PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i came on her dog
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you made out with another girl for some wings
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
