I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
