I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
