forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
