Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
