I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
