hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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