You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
