it's like iHOP with fire
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
