Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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