so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I will be naked everywhere
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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