Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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