Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
