Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
