# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
