just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
