Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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