I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
