I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
