so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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