Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
