I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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