You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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