But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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