I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
