If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
