So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
