I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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