All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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