Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
