I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
