you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
