soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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