If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
