So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
