have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
