why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
