No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
