I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
