Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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