It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
