Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
