Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
