how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
